30 Days of Truth: Day 4-Someone You Need to Forgive

I need to forgive my mom. We haven’t spoken since Thanksgiving. It’s a very complicated relationship, but I have reached the point where I need to set boundaries to protect myself so I can function well in my life. Instead of taking responsibility for her own issues, she lashes out at me and blames and criticizes me. If only I would do things differently or talk to her with different words or tone of voice, she would feel better. She engulfs me in her problems and relies on me to either make it better or worse. I feel caught in a double bind. If I talk to her, I’m hurtful somehow. If I don’t talk to her, I’m hurtful. All her misery is because of what I do or don’t do. I won’t take responsibility for someone else’s happiness. It’s not my job as a daughter to make or break her sense of well being. The emotional volatility and manipulation with guilt are toxic to my life. So I don’t know what to say or do to fix it. At thanksgiving she got so upset with me that she changed her flight and left early. I need to forgive her, but so far I have been having trouble.

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