30 Days of Truth: Day 9-Someone You Didn’t Want to Let Go but Drifted Apart

The friend who comes to mind is someone I knew from my childhood (middle and high schools) and we reconnected as adults. She was my best friend for years.  Our girls were a year apart, and when I was living at my mom’s house as a single mom, we practically talked and saw each other every single day. We used to stay on the phone for hours and talked about just about everything.  We saw each other at our worst moments and helped each other through some tough times.  We helped each other with our kids since I was single and her significant other wasn’t very involved.  We were friends during her during her second pregnancy, and I was there when her son was born.  I felt honored to be there as a support person.  I moved away and got remarried and had my second daughter then we moved back to Virginia for five years.  My friend and I reconnected, and she was there for me to watch my daughters when I went to the hospital to give birth to my son.  We talked and visited and shared a wonderful friendship for many years. 

Sadly, it came to an end when she got mad at me over a misunderstanding during happy hour with other girlfriends.  I introduced one of my other friends to the hostess’s husband and didn’t introduce her.  She got her feelings hurt and exploded with many things she had been unhappy with me about but had previously kept to herself.  I was surprised and did everything I could to mend the relationship.  She told me she didn’t like how I acted when I got around other girlfriends and we drank wine together.  I was sorry she felt that way and didn’t mean to act differently toward her, but perception is reality, and her feelings were hurt.  Our friendship was never the same.

 I moved away again to Texas, and we visited Virginia in 2008.  I visited with my old friend, and our daughters spent some time together.  Things weren’t the same, but it was nice to see her and talk again.  We had another fight the night before I was flying back to Texas over a bra that my daughter borrowed from her daughter.  She and her daughter called me multiple times that night to try to get the bra back.  I was in an argument with my husband, and it wasn’t a good time to take their calls.  I offered to mail the bra back to her daughter once we got back to Texas as it wasn’t a good time to deliver it back to her house.  Since I was already in a fiery mood because of the argument with my husband, this time I was the sharp one. I expressed frustration that she put zero effort into repairing our friendship, but now this bra was so important that she and her daughter called me over and over again even though I told them it wasn’t a good time for me to talk.  At that point, our friendship ended for good.  Since then, we have totally drifted apart.  I haven’t asked her to forgive me for getting mad at her that night, and she hasn’t made any effort to be my friend.  Her daughter decided to be sassy to me online about her bra, and I decided to report her to her high school cheerleading coach since her parents weren’t going to do anything to discipline her.  I’m pretty sure my ex-friend didn’t appreciate me bringing her daughter’s message to the school’s attention, but as the parent of a high schooler at the time, I knew that frequently schools enforce respectful behavior on behalf of their athletes because how they act represents the school.  I mailed the bra back to her daughter and never heard from her again.  I’ve tried friending her on facebook, but she won’t accept my friendship. 

We always had our differences, but we also had many similarities.  It’s sad that our friendship fell apart, but in this case it seems that our differences tore us apart.   I wish we could be friends again, but I’m not holding my breath.  Once a friendship is broken, it’s really hard to put it back together. 


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