Clear Change Program: day 5 Just Do It

Today I’m struggling with…

It was another bear of a day. I feel like I’m being tested. So many challenges going on in my life. Serious issues going on at work and so many demands in my personal life. Today I’m struggling with not having a glass of wine to wind down and help me manage stress. I almost was weak and bought some when I stopped at the store after work, but I didn’t. I was strong. The program guide says days 5-7 are the hardest days. I don’t really want to ruin the detox by having a weak moment. So instead my son and I got a bottle of sparkling apple juice, and he thought it was fun to drink it out of champagne glasses.

The restrictions these three days are really tough. I can basically eat fish, beans, vegetables, and apples, and pears. But the good news is this program isn’t about weight loss, so I can eat as much as I want as long as I only eat the approved foods.

Breakfast: ultraclear renew drink, GI boost, and probiomax

Lunch: leftover cauliflower stir fry with black beans

Snack: ultraclear renew drink

Dinner: Baked salmon with garlic, lemon, olive oil, sea salt and garlic, avocado, and peas.

Snack: apple and ultra clear renew drink, GI boost, and probiomax.

I was supposed to have four ultra clear renew drinks but I only had three. My morning just completely got away from me.

I had one cup of coffee and drank a bunch of water. I’m completely failing in the ‘getting plenty of rest’ category. There are just too many things to do and not enough time. My daughter’s having surgery tomorrow, so I had to have things ready for me to miss work. Hopefully I can rest more this weekend!

Thanks for reading this entry. Peace out!


Clear Change Program Detox: Day 4 Stay Hydrated 

Today I’m feeling…

I’m feeling busy and stressed and having a hard time keeping up with everything. Four days into the detox, I’m adjusting to the restrictions and trying to make sure I get all the shakes and supplements in. It’s not that easy especially because of how crazy this week has been for me.

Breakfast: smoothie with frozen cherries, chia seeds, ultra clear renew, GI replenish, and probiomax.

Snack: pear

Lunch: leftover cod with romaine and avocado

Snack: ultra clear renew drink

Dinner: baked mahi mahi with lemon, olive oil, sea salt and pepper, avocado & romaine salad, and cauliflower stir fried with onions and garlic. GI replenish and  probiomaxz

Drank zero coffee today and also didn’t have any wine again. Trying to drink lots of water to assist the detox process.

I’m reading the literature and laughing about the fact it says to kind of take it easy during these ten days. I’m doing nothing of the sort, in fact I’m completely exhausted from going to work early and then working late and I have to get up early again tomorrow. All this cooking with vegetables and fresh fish takes a lot of planning and prep. I didn’t eat dinner until 8:00 tonight. Not ideal, but at least I got the nutrients.

I lost both my yoga mats recently too, so I can’t even unwind by doing yoga at home! Ugh.

Thanks for reading this entry. Peace out!

Clear Change Program Detox: day 2 Add Nutritional Support.

Today was not a great day. It was one of those days that started out alright and then turned stressful and draining. The best I could do was take it one step at a time and do my best to stick to the detox in the process.

I took all the nutritional supplements and kind of stuck to the diet.

Breakfast: one cup of coffee with agave nectar and half and half, smoothie with pineapple, spinach, coconut milk, chia seeds, the ultra clear renew, ultra GI replenish as well as the probiomax.

Lunch: ultra clear renew mixed with water. I meant to eat a salad with chick peas for protein, but I accidentally left it at home.

Snack: apple

Dinner: homemade turkey and vegetable soup, above mentioned salad

I feel like I NEED one cup of coffee in the morning, and I usually have two, so at least I’m reducing caffeine. Although I was stressed today, I did NOT have a glass of wine.

I meant to eat more, but I was out most of the day and didn’t bring enough with me.  I also drank a lot of water with lemon.

Because I was feeling the effects of my day, I took an epsom salt bath and am getting some rest. I did it! I survived and I’m going back to bed.

At the end of the day, I am grateful that even though it wasn’t the best day, it wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been.  There’s so much craziness and pain in the world. I am thankful I’m safe and healthy and looking forward to a better day tomorrow.

Thanks for reading this entry. Peace out!

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 30 Love


Love is spending a long weekend with my college daughter and then having to say goodbye. Twenty is such an in-between age. Clearly mature and grown up enough to live independently and go to college, yet too young to fully take control of life and all its responsibilities and demands. We are all getting used to her first summer living away from home. For us, it means twelve months this year of only two kids at home. For her, it means working to pay rent in addition to taking summer classes. I spent several days with her, doing the things that mothers do, going grocery shopping, helping take care of errands and scheduling appointments etc. We had long talks about school, work, and friendships. It made me feel needed as a mother, and I hope it helped her feel less all alone in a big world and that her family is here to support her all the time. It was hard to say goodbye, but it was a heartwarming feeling knowing my presence made a difference. I’m also super proud of her and her hard work and happy to see her growing into an independent woman.

Thanks for reading this entry. Peace out!

Self Care Sunday: girl time, massage, boundaries, and yoga

It’s Self Care Sunday. How are you taking care if yourself today?

I’m breaking from my usual weekend routine at the gym to spend the day with my daughter (12) at her studio’s first dance competition of the season.

Girl time:
Whether it’s spending time with my daughters or with my girlfriends, I think it’s important to take time to celebrate femininity and to have fun together. Guy time is also important for guys, but I’m a girl so that’s what I’m focusing on in this post. Last weekend I spent one-on-one time with my daughter at college (19) and today I am devoting my day to my younger daughter (12). We are watching and cheering on her friends at her dance studio who are competing. I like to support her interests, and I get the chills watching the dances! Yesterday, I took her to her first Chinese foot reflexology massage. We also enjoy going to the nail salon and movies. I like going out with my friends too. My girlfriends and I get together for coffee, happy hour, lunches, and outings like Top Golf, Painting with a Twist, and Boudoir Therapy.

Massage is awesome it helps increase circulation, relax muscles and ease tension. There are many styles of massage. Swedish is light pressure mainly for relaxation. I prefer deep-tissue massage since I have knots in my muscles that never go away. In deep-tissue massage, they use their forearms and elbows for added pressure. About a year ago, I discovered Chinese massage. I’d heard of Chinese foot reflexology but never tried it. In Chinese medicine, they believe that different parts of the feet correspond to different body parts. Massaging those points on the feet helps those body parts function better. They also offer full body massages like I’ve never experienced before. It’s medium to firm pressure and they hit specific acupressure points to help energy (chi) flow better through the body.

I’m talking about interpersonal boundaries. And unfortunately I’m learning the hard way how to keep toxic people and toxic relationships away from my life. There is an expression that we can’t control other people; we can only control ourselves. We can’t control what happens to us, but we can control our reactions to those things. My relationship with my mom is very difficult, and it really stresses me out to have too much communication with her. I’m doing everything I can to put up a healthy boundary and to make decisions based on what is best for my health regardless of how she behaves toward me or likes what decisions I make. I quit my job almost a year ago because of a toxic work environment. A year later I can look back and be happy about that decision even though it was incredibly upsetting at the time. Sometimes we have to listen to ourselves and make tough decisions. I’ve been learning about the effects of stress on our bodies and overall health, and I think it’s important to do what we can to lower stress in our lives. If that means keeping negative, toxic people at an arm’s length, so be it.

I missed my class at the gym today, but I plan to do some yoga when I get home with a DVD. I have one called “back care yoga” with Rodnee Yee. It’s only about a half hour long, but it feels so good on my back. The video was taken next to the ocean, and I love the sounds of the waves in the background. Yoga is a great low-impact exercise. The stretching is good for flexibility, and holding poses builds strength and stamina. It increases balance and coordination. Yoga also develops the mind, body, spirit connection, helping us to slow down and be mindful our our breath. My favorite part is savasana, the part at the end when we relax, meditate, and close the practice.


Thanks for reading this entry. Peace out!

Hormones and Stress

Overview of the thyroid system (See Wikipedia:...

Overview of the thyroid system (See Wikipedia:Thyroid). To discuss image, please see Talk:Human body diagrams (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Upon the advice of several health care practitioners, I had my hormones tested including TSH, estrogen, progesterone, cortisol, and testerone. A Chinese massage therapist said I think too much, have too much yang, and that my hormones were off. How he could tell all of that from massaging me, I don’t know. My physical therapist also suggested getting my hormones tested in relation to my chronic pain problem. I had my hormones tested in 2000 when I was diagnosed with osteopenia, but everything was in normal range. I recently saw a chiropractor at a natural wellness center and failed his applied kinesiology tests for adrenal function. He looked at my MRI results and agreed with other doctors that there is no reason for me to be in pain all the time. He suggested I get my hormones tested, including cortisol (stress hormone) and started treating me for adrenal fatigue.

The adrenal glands sit atop the kidneys.

The adrenal glands sit atop the kidneys. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

While my numbers all came back within normal limits, my gynecologist’s office treats for optimal numbers, and mine were not optimal. Apparently, my hormones are out of whack after all. I had no idea that hormones can affect pain and inflammation. I learned something new today.

My TSH numbers are too high, which means my thyroid is underactive (hypothyroidism). It’s associated with dry skin, weight gain, irritability, and insomnia among other symptoms.

My cortisol levels are too high. Cortisol is a stress hormone associated with our fight or flight response in the parasympathetic nervous system. Stress can mean current, acute stress as well as old, unresolved emotional stress. It triggers the body to deposit fat around the midsection to protect our vital organs in times of famine and disease. It increases overall inflammation.

My testerone level is too low. That is associated with fatigue and libido.

I know that hormones run the lives of adolescents and teenagers, but I have underestimated the role they play in my middle-aged life. I’m starting to accept the middle-aged me. The night sweats, the irregular cycles, the graying hair, and the growing midsection are all signs that I am over the hill. I just didn’t realize what a role that stress must play in my life.

I dream about being stressed out. I am frequently frustrated and angry. I try to yell and nothing comes out. I want to be with people who don’t want to be with me. I am chased by wild animals. My waking life is not so stressful on its face, but if you get me talking about the past, frustrations and anger are not far under the surface.

I need to chill out so I can start feeling better.